Harley King

Much of the self-help literature stresses the importance of confidence.  When we make a decision, we should not look back.  We should not question ourselves.  We should not doubt ourselves.  We should act as if we have no fear.

Yet, self-doubt can be a good thing since it prevents us from becoming overconfident.  When people are overconfident, they make mistakes.  They assume too much and become reckless. Doubt gives us the opportunity to step back and reassess the situation — to make sure we are making the right decisions.  

Have you ever made a decision and then had second thoughts?  This is normal.  We often second-guess ourselves.  Most of the time our initial decision was the best one and we should move forward.  But occasionally, this moment of reassessment gives us the opportunity to change course and correct our mistake.

My wife and I spent our honeymoon in Acapulco, Mexico.  Since we were young with almost no money and I had only a part-time job, my parents paid for our trip.  One day a young man offered us a free dinner if we would attend a sales pitch about time shares.  We took him up on his offer.  Now, I am a sucker for a good sales pitch and I bought hook, line and sinker.  I signed the contract even though I did not have enough income to make the monthly payment.

Even before the ink was dry on the contract, doubt set in.  I knew I had made a mistake.  I could not afford the deal no matter how good it was.  People can read me like a book and I am sure the salesman could read the doubt and even fear on my face.  He made the mistake of telling me that if I was not satisfied, I could tear up the contract.  I didn't hesitate.  I tore up the contract and walked out of the room, not waiting for my wife.

My young bride was shocked and embarrassed by my behavior and she has not let me forget it in 42 years of marriage.  Of course, now we laugh about my cold feet and doubt.  Yet, I know I made the right decision.  Sometimes, doubt protects us from ourselves and our impulses.

Yes, self-confidence is important to success, but self-doubt is a lighthouse that will keep you from running aground.  Don't become shipwrecked on the rocks of time. Be willing to rethink your decisions and change course.

Harley King

Let me begin by saying that I cannot carry a tune.  The irony is that I have spent 25 years leading people in singing as part of a customer service workshop.  The music touched people's hearts and changed their lives.  

Singing has the power to soothe the savage beast that lives inside all of us.  Music will cheer you up when you are down.  Singing can lighten your load and free your soul from the burdens it carries.  Music communicates at a deeper level than mere words or pictures.

When I was in college and I felt down, I would walk the railroad tracks that ran through campus and sing to myself.  Singing cheered me up and helped me feel better about myself and the world.  I would sing then and often still do the first two lines from the old gospel song, Lonesome Valley.  I didn't know the lyrics to the entire song but these two lines stuck in my memory.

"You gotta walk that lonesome valley
You gotta walk it by yourself."

Here is Pete Seeger singing a version of that gospel song.

Often when I am alone and need to pick myself up, I sing the chorus to another gospel song, Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.  

"Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home"

Here is a version of the song sung by the Dublin Gospel Choir.

Harley King

Life is not simple and we are often faced with challenging decisions.  Do you take the easy path or the difficult one?  Do you make courageous decisions or safe ones?  Do you make decisions that build your character or corrupt it?

I am by nature a shy person and this has often led me to make safe decisions.  I don't approach strangers and strike up a conversation.  I don't go up to authors after a speech and introduce myself.  I have, though, made a choice in the work place to overcome my shyness. I will approach strangers and introduce myself as part of my job.

My wife, on the other hand, has never met a stranger.  She will strike up a conversation any place, any time, with people she does not know.  We attended an art fair recently and she spent time talking with artists, engaging them in conversation while I stood by listening and wishing I had that kind of courage.

I also will seek out the easy path, avoiding where possible the dangerous or difficult ones. When driving a car and needing to turn left across a busy street without a stoplight, I choose to turn right and find a driveway or parking lot I can turn around in.

And I often don't make the tough decisions when I disagree with a person.  I will choose not to state my opinion if it will cause friction with someone in a position of authority.

So what impact do these choices have on my character?  How have they helped to create the person I have become? I sometimes think of myself as lacking courage — of lacking a willingness to standup and be counted for something I believe in.  I keep my beliefs to myself and do not stir the waters.

What about you?  How have your choices created the person you are?  Have you been able to make the courageous decisions?

Harley King

I still remember the very first standing ovation that I received 26 years ago.  I had spent three hours speaking to a group of 250 managers.  I was surprised and elated.  I had connected with my audience and moved them to stand and applaud.  As a professional speaker, I have since received numerous standing ovations.  Each one was a powerful form of recognition and appreciation for a job well done.

We all need standing ovations.  We need the people in our lives to recognize and appreciate what we have done.  We need people to say thank you.  You have touched my life.  But we also need to give standing ovations to the people in our lives — to say thank you to a spouse, a child and a friend.  We need to develop an attitude of gratitude.

Most of us are not hermits, living alone, isolated from friends and family.  We need the help of others — including people we have never met — from the person who assembled your cell phone to the farmer who provided the food on your table.  Think how barren your life would be if there were not other people to fill it with laughter and hope.

Who in your life needs a standing ovation today?  Reach out and touch their lives.  Say thank you.  Tell them how much they mean to you.

 

Harley King

What do you do when you are faced with a water puddle blocking your path?  Do you walk around it?  Jump over it?  Or make a big splash?  As adults many of us have forgotten how to celebrate life and enjoy the gifts we are given.  A water puddle is something to be avoided so we don't get wet, muddy and cold.  As children we probably loved splashing our way through water puddles.  We enjoyed the moment.  As adults we must learn to find those moments again and enjoy them.

We often get caught up in the day-to-day struggle to survive — working hard to put a roof over our heads and food in the mouths of those we love — that we forget to enjoy the simple things like a sunrise or a rainbow or a water puddle.  Sometimes we feel that life is passing us by — that we are riding on the fast train to nowhere.  We need to climb down off the train occasionally and stomp through water puddles.

Life is filled with many blessings if we stop, look and listen — if we pay attention to the world of nature.  When was the last time you climbed a tree or went for a hike?  When was the last time you watched a butterfly flit from place to place, held a flower in your hand, or listened to a cricket chirp?  Life is filled with hope if we would only believe.  

Take time to celebrate life, to enjoy its blessings, and to live passionately because before you know it the journey will be over and the opportunity squandered.

Harley King

All human beings face suffering and pain in their lives.  Some of us are better at coping with our disappointments than others.  And for many of us time is the only healer. And in some cases even time does not heal — the pain still lingers.

Some are able to transform their pain and suffering into works of art.  Others remain trapped in an endlessly cycle of sorrow and disappointment.  As creative leaders we must find ways to mold our suffering into creative works that inspire others.  Pain can be a source of great beauty and hope.  Suffering can give birth to joy and happiness.

Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” 

We often dream of a world without pain, suffering and disappointment.  The pain inspires action and change.  Some of world's greatest creative leaders have used their pain and suffering to make changes in their lives and in the world.  

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”

If we knew more about the pain and suffering of others, maybe we would be kinder and gentler towards them.  We often are so caught up in our own pain that we fail to see the suffering of others.  By embracing the suffering of others, we will be able to transform our own pain for the good of human beings.  Reach out today and hug someone who is suffering.

Harley King

Telling my personal story has often been difficult for me because my nature is to stick to the facts.  I was raised to believe in factual truth.  I have a bad habit of correcting my wife in front of people when she has the facts wrong.  And she lets me know it.  Old habits are hard to break.

It has taken me years to appreciate the importance of changing our stories in their re-telling — to understand the value of embellishing the facts.  Facts are not as important as meaning.  The truth resides deeper in our memories than facts.

Yet where does one draw the line? Reporters in recent times have been fired or forced to resign because they have played too loose with the facts.  And in some cases, reporters have fabricated the entire story.  Memoirists have been criticized and had their books pulled from the shelves because it was found that they fabricated some of their memories.

Do we violate the reader and writer bond when we embellish our stories?  The reader is expecting the truth and is upset to find the writer has altered the facts.  The trust is broken.  The reader feels betrayed.

Yet the great storytellers embellished their memories to make them entertaining.  Life as we live it has long stretches of boredom.  Life as we imagine it is full of adventure and romance.  Great writers understand this principle.  

Life as we know it is chaotic and without purpose. Imagination allows us to bring order and meaning to events.  Life is lived in the moment and only understood through creative reflection. Life is not as much about names, events and facts as it is about feelings, connections and dreams.  Life is about memory.  Cherish your creative memories.

May your memories grow in proportion 

to the richness of your creative spirit.

Harley King

This is a photo of my maternal grandmother taken in the early part of the 20th century. I remember hearing a story about my grandmother when she was a teenager.  She and a cousin snuck out of the house early one morning and went riding on horses.  My grandmother was thrown from the horse and broke her leg. Rather then tell her parents, she limped back to bed and pretended to be sick.  It took two days for her parents to discover that her leg was broken.

We all have stories from our childhood about our ancestors — the uncle who was a drunk and burnt the house down, the aunt who rode motorcycles and the cousin who died young.  As artists and creative leaders, we need to turn our family history into stories, poems and paintings.

May you be blessed with stories about your ancestors.  For in those stories, we can discover who we are and from where we came.

I wrote a story poem some 35 years ago about a story I had heard as a child.  I showed it to my grandmother when she was 83.  She told me the facts were not correct and she was right.  I changed the details of the story to protect the innocent.  Yet for me, my grandmother lives on in this story.  I discovered my ancestors through the process of writing the story.


Brother AL

He was a little bit of a thing —
knee-high to a grasshopper
as pa used to say.
But his hair was the funnier sight —
white as the coverings
women wear in church.
Been that way since birth.
He didn't seem to mind it, though,
until he met Ruthy Shonkwiler.
She was a big-breasted girl
with farmer's hands.
Seems he fell in love
the moment he set eyes on her.
But as things have a way of happening
in this neck of the woods,
she had her heart set on Stephen,
old Samuel Yoder's youngest,
tall as an oak
with hair the color
of a bull Angus.

Now, Alvin wasn't one
to let obstacles get in his way.
He would stuff pages
out of an old Sears catalog
into his shoes to make him taller
and he was always on the look out
for something to blacken his hair.

It happened one day
that Ma was cooking up
a big batch of prunes
and she set the juice out to cool.
Alvin, in his infinite wisdom,
thought that it was God's answer to his prayers.
He dipped his snow-white cap
into the kettle of juice
hoping to turn it black.
Well, let me tell ya,
it didn't work.
All he got was a lickin' from pa
and a hot bath and shampoo.
Ma, though, thought he should be taught a lesson.
Said if people don't like
what the good Lord gives them,
then the good Lord ought to take it away.
So she shaved his head
clean down to the scalp.
Embarrassed the poor guy to death.
Ruthy, I'm told, laughed and laughed.

Well, he survived somehow
and married, Eli's oldest, Sarah.
Together, they had a parcel of kids,
not a white-haired one among them.
Ruthy went off to college
and married some doctor fellow
from out east.

To this day Alvin refuses
to eat prunes
or order anything out of a Sears catalog.

May your ancestors live in your stories 

and reveal themselves through your memory.

Harley King

While I saw my first robin this year over a month ago, I am still reminded with each new sighting about the importance of the seasons.  The seasons are the touchstones of our lives.  They remind us of who we are and what we are all about.  This year has been a particularly hard winter where I live and people delighted in the coming of spring.  The seasons measure the passing of time.  

Our lives are also like the seasons.  Our youth is the spring of our lives — full of energy, excitement and enthusiasm.  We seek to discover the meaning of life and the world into which we are born.  Why are we are?  Who do we want to become?

In the summer of our lives, we settle into the world, mating and raising a family.  We find employment to pay our bills and hopefully, provide us with a sense of purpose.  The questions of our youth become less important as we are in pursuit of life's abundance.  Like the squirrels we are finding nuts and burying them for the coming winter.

In the autumn of our lives, we return to the melancholy of our youth.  We think again about the meaning of life and our purpose for being here.  We question and challenge the decisions we have made.  Have we settled for too little?  Have we given in too easily to the demands of life?  If our time in this life is limited, what changes do we want to make?

In the winter of our years, we know the end is near.  We can feel the coming death in our bones.  We will return to the soil from which we came.  We watch our friends and companions of this life pass on to a world beyond our grasp.  We live in memory of what has been — hopeful that our passing will be blessed.

The seasons have also been a touchstone of my creative life — beginning with the wild and crazy hopes and dreams of spring.  I wanted to be a poet and a novelist — a rich and famous world traveler.  In the summer, I chose to find a job to support a family.  Writing was relegated to the early morning hours while everyone slept.  In the autumn of my years, I have written thousands of poems and published little.  I am more interested in the process of creating then in fame and fortune.  Winter is around the corner and I find myself also drawing and creating art.  I wonder what will happen to my creative work after I am gone.  Will it disappear?  Or will it find a home somewhere?

In 1977, I published Winter Silence, my first book of haiku to celebrate the birth of my daughter.  The book was organized by the seasons.  In 2014, I read and recorded the haiku from that book.  Enjoy this short reading.

May your heart rejoice 

with the coming of robins in the spring.

Harley King

Maya Pyramids - Mexico       

My most memorable class in high school was American History my junior year, not because of the subject but because of the teacher.  He encouraged me to think.  In college, I took only required history classes and I could not tell you anything about them today.  History was not something that inspired me.  I came from the generation that spouted such slogans as "Don't Trust anyone over 30."

I did not discover the value of history until I was in my early forties.  I was taking a trip to Mexico with my family and decided to read something about the history of Mexico.  I read the book, The Conquest of New Spain, by Bernal Diaz del Castillo.  Diaz was a soldier with Hernan Cortez when he conquered the Aztecs.  He wrote this first hand account years later.  I was hooked.  I was soon reading other books of history as well as biographies and memoirs.

Buddha - Asia

History at its heart is about storytelling, not dates and names.  And history like all good stories has many lessons to teach if we are paying attention.  Nations and their leaders, unfortunately, have a tendency to repeat the mistakes of the past.  We never seem to be able to learn from history.  By the second or third generation after a key historical event, the lessons are being forgotten.

But history goes beyond nations and their leaders.  Artistic disciplines also have a history.  Beginning artists study past artists.  Beginning writers study great writers.  Beginning musicians study previous musicians.  Failure to know the historical roots of one's artistic profession will often lead to mediocre artistic endeavors.  As creative leaders we need to know from where we came.

The same is true in business.  If business leaders do not know the history their organization and their industry, they will make the same mistakes that their predecessors did.  History has so much to teach.  We need to pay attention.

And we also have personal histories.  Where were you born?  What was your childhood like? Do you know the history of your family? What mistakes did you make?  Have you learned from your mistakes?  Or have you repeated your mistakes again and again?

May you learn the lessons that history has to teach and pass them onto others.

Machu-pichu, Peru, Inca

Harley King

There are hundreds of reasons that we should believe in our talents.  As creative leaders, we should celebrate our unique visions of the worlds we inhabit.  We should be proud of our accomplishments and our victories.

Yet, many of us are plagued by self-doubt and a lack of confidence.  We feel we are not good enough.  Even when we are successful, we are afraid that others will discover that we are frauds.  We race through life hoping that the truth will not be revealed and that we can escape embarrassment and shame.

We fail to realize that we have many reasons to love ourselves.  We are so busy focusing on our mistakes and weaknesses that we don't ever discover the truth.  We see only our faults and failures.

Open your eyes and see beyond your mistakes.  Take a moment and give thanks for who you are and what you have been able to accomplish.  Count all the reasons you should love yourself.  Then accept the gift of talent that you have been given and appreciate your strengths.  Be confident.  Be strong.  Love yourself.

Harley King

Sometimes we as creative leaders are our own worst critics.  We often don't appreciate the talent we have been given or the skill we have mastered.  We have a difficult time accepting praise from others.  Sometimes we don't even want to let others see our work.  We are afraid of what they may say.

We need to learn not to beat ourselves up over every minor mistake or perceived mistake.  Mistakes actually are good things because they often lead to new creative ideas.  Don't let your mistakes knock you down.  Find the opportunity in the mistake.  

The Japanese have a concept called kintsugi which is the art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum.  The artist treats the breakage and repair as part of the history of the object, not as something to be thrown out or hidden.  The artist embraces the flaws and imperfections. 

As creative leaders, we need to stop trying to be perfect and, instead, embrace our flaws and imperfections.  We need to incorporate our flaws into our work.  We need to find the beauty within the ugly.  We need to enjoy what our flaws have to teach us.

Harley King

Have you ever listened to silence? These days it is hard to find silence because there is so much white noise. Even in nature there is little silence. We hear the wind, the insects, the birds and the animals. We fill our days with noise from the moment we wake until the moment we sleep. We turn on the television, plug in our iPods, and turn on our computers. 

And some of us are afraid of silence. If silence appears in a conversation, we become nervous. Many of us can't be home by ourselves without turning on the TV or the radio so we have noise. And cell phones allow us to stay connected to human voices so we don't feel alone even if we are deep in the woods. 

I believe silence is a good thing and that we need to find ways to enjoy it more. As an artist and writer I need silence to hear the voice of my muse. Too much chaotic noise blocks the sweet voice of my muse. Do you run from silence or have you learned to appreciate it?

Words can not always communicate what I feel. Sometimes silence is the best response to what happens.  As a writer and speaker I live and breathe by the word. In the beginning was the word and I felt whole. But I have also learned that there is power in silence. Too many words can confuse the communication. I need to allow time for silence. 

Silence allows me to process the tons of information that enters my brain. Silence allows creativity to take root and grow beautiful flowers. Silence allows for reason to prevail over ignorance. Silence helps me find my way through the maze of life. Silence opens my heart like a flower in the morning. 

Take time to enjoy the silences of your life.  Learn to appreciate and love silence.

Harley King

Conversation is becoming a lost art.  People pass each other like shadows in the night, absorbed in their small worlds.  We seldom listen to the stories that people have to share about their lives.  We have little time for family and friends and rarely do we risk speaking to strangers.

Growing up in a small midwestern farming community, we left our doors unlocked and our cars running when we went to the post office.  Everybody knew everyone else and rarely did we meet a stranger.  Our conversations were filled with stories, gossip and laughter.

Yet, today I live in a much different world.  I lock the doors of my car even when it sits in my driveway and I always lock the doors of my house even when I am home.  And most of the people I meet are strangers and rarely do we speak.

Life is about the relationships we develop with family, friends and even strangers on the paths that we choose to travel.  Some of the best conversations that I have had in my life have happened on an airplane with someone I had never met and will never encounter again.  

With strangers, we often open up and share our stories in ways that we do not with family and friends.  We know that the strangers are passing through our lives and that it is unlikely that we will meet again.  When we listen to stories of strangers, there is so much we can learn about the world and the people that inhabit it.  We will often find that we are alike and have much in common.

Listening to the stories of others can spark our creativity and make us better writers and artists.  Something they say may plant a seed that will grow and bear fruit.  Something they say may free us from the chains that bind our thinking.  Listening to the stories of strangers will give us small moments of pleasure and joy.

Harley King

When I was a child growing up in the Mennonite church, I was taught the importance of serving others.  We are to help others in their time of need.  When hurricane Celia hit Corpus Christi in 1970, my father along with others from the church traveled south from Illinois to help rebuild homes.  

Service to others is a privilege and a sacred honor.  We are to give of ourselves to help others in need.  In college, I spent 13 weeks in Jamaica as part of a Study-Service Term abroad.  Six weeks of the trimester was to be spent in service.  I spent those six weeks helping out at a boys' camp in the mountains.

Only in giving to others do you find your true value.  Success is not to be found in making more money or in a promotion.  Success is found in giving back.  Often the rewards one receives from giving far outweigh the price of the gift.  Helping others is the best gift you will ever receive.

Another tradition we practiced in the Mennonite church that I attended as a child was that of feet washing.  As part of communion, people would pair up, remove their shoes and socks, and wash each other's feet.  Washing someone's feet was a sign of humility.  None of us are too good to be above washing someone's feet.  Washing the feet of someone puts people on the same level.  The boss is no better than the employee.  The rich are no better than the poor.

As creative leaders, what are you giving back?  How are you serving others?  How are you helping other people achieve their dreams?  Whose feet are you washing?

Harley King

Believe in your dreams and don't let your fears become obstacles that prevent you from flying.  You were not given dreams because God wanted to crush your spirit and destroy your hopes.  You were given dreams because God wanted you to fly.

Your dreams are one of the greatest gifts you have been given.  Honor the gift by struggling to achieve it.  Honor the gift by believing that you have the talent to achieve it.  Honor the gift by not giving up or giving in.  Honor the gift by being thankful for the opportunity you have been given.

Your dreams are the wings that your spirit needs to fly farther than you have ever flown.  Your dreams are the wings that will carry you to greatness.  Cherish your dreams for without them life has no meaning.  Cherish your dreams that you may discover new worlds. Cherish your dreams for they will bring you laughter and tears.  Cherish your dreams so that you may be of service to others.

Harley King

One of the easiest things to be in this world is a pessimist.  It is much easier to be negative and discouraging than it is to be positive and enthusiastic.  It is much easier to find fault than it is to find the good.  Pessimists are the enemies of optimism.  They think they are being realistic, but their negative view of the world is no more realistic than the optimist.

We must learn to say goodbye to the pessimists in our lives.  Their negativity is harmful to our mental and emotional health.  Their negativity is destructive to our creative impulse.  No matter how painful it may be, we must let them go.

Many of us become trapped by the chains of our own fears because we don't want to make a mistake — we want what we create to be perfect.  The truth is perfection does not exist. Even nature is not perfect.  We can find plenty of mistakes in nature.  

We must learn to accept and live with imperfection.  We  must not let the chains of our fears destroy us.  Despite our fears, we must keep creating — we must keep growing and developing.  We must believe in ourselves and our talents.

Harley King

Are you bored with your life?  Do you wish you could become someone other than who you are?  A 2007 survey of high school students found that two-thirds admitted to being bored in class every day.  Even creative people, unfortunately, allow themselves to be bored.

Many people feel that their lives are boring.  My hope is that your life can be like a bowl of chili — hot, spicy and full of flavor.  I believe boredom is a state of mind that can be overcome by looking at life new ways.  The fact that you are reading this means that you are still above ground and have not been buried.  The world we live in is very exciting and full of hope if we spend a few minutes every day celebrating life.

For creative leaders like you and me, creativity is a crucial antidote for our survival.  Find joy in your creative energy and your creations.  Creativity overcomes the dull, boring and uninteresting.

Every year people in the northern climates grow tired of the cold.  Cabin fever sets in and our rational minds go on vacation.  Hiding indoors during the winter months can be very boring.  We miss moving about in the outdoors.  We keep looking for something to divert our attention from the cold and snow.  

Have you ever been chilled to the bone and the warmth of a bowl of soup or cup of hot chocolate picked you up and made your whole spirit feel better?  The temperature last night where I live dropped to a minus eight degrees so I thought it was only appropriate to make chili today.  Hot and spicy chili to warm up the body and the spirit.

May your life be like a bowl of chili — 

hot, spicy and full of flavor.

Harley King

Have you ever felt pulled in opposite directions and thought you were going to break?  At one time or another most of us have probably felt that way.  As creative leaders, living the lives we lead in today's world can be very stressful and challenging.  We have multiple priorities vying for our attention and time.  

The demands of a job can be stressful in and of themselves.  We have multiple people pulling and pushing us.  We have deadlines that we have to meet.  Quotas that we have to deliver. Goals we have to achieve.

On top of work, the home life can add additional stress.  We have children to raise, chores to do and spouses who require our time.  We have friends who call and text and want to have coffee so they can chat about the stress in their lives.

Some days it is amazing that we have anytime for ourselves.  Some days we can't find time to do any of our creative work like writing or painting.  When I go too long without writing, I feel out of sorts.  A happy, successful life depends on taking care of oneself — of finding a release for our creative energies.  Too often, we are so busy meeting the needs and demands of others that we forget about our needs and expectations.

Negative people also creative stress in our lives.  They put us down.  They tell us we will never be successful.  They are always finding something to criticize.  They suggest we give up on our dreams because they have given up on theirs.  They are very destructive to our spirits.

Five Ways to Care for Yourself

1.  Discover what restores your spirit.  For example: 

• A walk in the woods
• Exercise
• Meditation
• Prayer
• Reading
• Writing
• Singing
• Drawing/Painting
• Massage

2.  Build time for yourself into your calendar even if it is five minutes a day.

3.  Learn to say "no" to the requests of others if you don't have the time.
4.  Avoid negative people who put you down and make you feel bad about yourself.
5.  Associate with positive people who are supportive and caring.

Harley King

Humor does not come easy for me.  I rarely find the jokes that people tell as funny.  I often don't find standup comedians to be very funny either.  As a child, I was very serious.  My wife, on the other hand, has always been a comedian.  Growing up, she would have her family in stitches with her ability to make people laugh.  She has taught me through our more than forty years of marriage that laughter is one of the most powerful instruments of healing that we have at our disposal.  These days I look for ways to bring humor into my life.

Whether I am one on one with a person or in a small group of people, I do not tell jokes.  As a professional speaker for over 25 years, I did not tell jokes.  Yet, there have been moments in my workshops that we laughed so hard that we had tears in our eyes.  For me, some of the best humor is what I call spontaneous humor.  It is humor that is unplanned and rises out of a comment that one of the participants makes.  What I have learned over the years is to play off the comments of others.  I have learned to use spontaneous humor to create laughter in the class.

I also think some of the best humor in my personal life is spontaneous humor.  We can be sitting around the kitchen table and someone says something that makes us giggle and soon we are laughing so hard that my belly is shaking like a bowl of jello and I can barely catch my breath.  I usually don't remember what triggered the laughter, but it feels good and it has shaken up my insides.

Five Ways to Add Laughter To Your Life

1. Don't take yourself so seriously.  Learn to laugh at your mistakes.
2. Find a friend or spouse who makes you laugh.
3. Watch and listen to humorous speakers and comedians whom you find funny.
4. Read books that make you laugh.
5. Look for the absurd situations in your life.

Jeanne Robertson

One of the funniest speakers I have ever heard is Jeanne Robertson.  Jeanne grew up in Graham, NC and represented the state as Miss North Carolina.  She was voted Miss Congeniality in the Miss America Pageant. After college, she coached basketball for nine years before becoming a professional speaker.  She stands 6'2" in her stocking feet.  For years she told funny stories about the beauty pageant.  Today she tells funny stories about growing old.  Here is a video of her sharing one of her stories, Don't Bungee Jump Naked.