Marcel Proust — Gratitude

John Quincy Adams — Mentors

Leadership is about relationships — the people whom we inspire and those who have inspired us.  Who have been your mentors? Who has helped you along the way? I believe we must from time to time stop and acknowledge those who have assisted on our journey through life. 

Most people start with their parents and move on to their teachers.  My parents gave me a start by paying for my college education. I was the first in either my mother's or father's family to graduate from college. So I have much to be thankful for. And my teachers have been numerous, whether in the classroom or in books or in day-to-day living.  And don't forget your children and grandchildren. They teach us parents so much. They help us to return to the passion of our youth. 

How about the person who hired you into your current job? He or she saw something in you that others did not.  Most of us have had job interviews where we did not get the job.  How about the person who hired you into that most important first job in your career?  The person who hired me into my first job in health care was a man named Wes Faulkner.  He saw something in me that others did not.  He taught me much about creativity, writing and corporate politics.

I could list hundreds of people who have touched my life from beggars whom I gave a handout to the Presidents of companies. None of us live in a vacuum.  Think about your neighbors. The person who mowed your yard when you were sick. The minister who married you. The banker who loaned you money. 

We have so much to be thankful for. Yet, how easily we forget and feel we have nothing — that we have not been as successful as we wanted.  We need to develop an attitude of gratitude — to give thanks each and every today.

Saying thanks, though, is not enough.  We need to give back.  We need to mentor others.  We need to inspire and motivate the people in our lives — the people we manage as well as members of our family and neighborhood.

Who are you mentoring this week?  Who are you inspiring to learn more and achieve more?  

This week focus on the words of John Quincy Adams:  

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, you are a leader."

Harley King — Tomorrow

During a conversation with a colleague this week, she asked me in jest: "What is the meaning of life." I responded with the first thing that came into my mind: "The sun will rise tomorrow."  And we both laughed.

On the surface, this appears to be a mundane, boring observation about the obvious. We all know the sun will rise tomorrow so we never give it any further thought.  We sometimes become so caught up in the stresses, challenges and problems that vex our daily lives that we act like the world is coming to an end. What we often forget is that tomorrow is a new day filled with new opportunities. 

In my 67 years on this planet, the sun has never failed to rise.  Now, I may not have been able to see it  on some days because of the clouds, but I knew it was there. This may seem like a simple observation, but it is filled with wisdom. If we choose, each new day is an opportunity to begin again. Every time the sun rises, we are given a chance to try something different — to find another path.

Have you ever sat before a blank piece of paper and had no idea what to write?  Have you ever stood before a blank canvas and had no idea what to paint?  Do you remember your frustration and maybe even anger?  Have you ever spent a few hours writing or painting and felt that your work was worthless? Have you ever wanted to give up and quit?  Remember that today will simply pass into history and tomorrow will be a brand new day that offers the opportunity to start again.

So tomorrow, give thanks for the sunrise and shout, "Good morning, world!" from the roof tops.

Harley King

I still remember the very first standing ovation that I received 26 years ago.  I had spent three hours speaking to a group of 250 managers.  I was surprised and elated.  I had connected with my audience and moved them to stand and applaud.  As a professional speaker, I have since received numerous standing ovations.  Each one was a powerful form of recognition and appreciation for a job well done.

We all need standing ovations.  We need the people in our lives to recognize and appreciate what we have done.  We need people to say thank you.  You have touched my life.  But we also need to give standing ovations to the people in our lives — to say thank you to a spouse, a child and a friend.  We need to develop an attitude of gratitude.

Most of us are not hermits, living alone, isolated from friends and family.  We need the help of others — including people we have never met — from the person who assembled your cell phone to the farmer who provided the food on your table.  Think how barren your life would be if there were not other people to fill it with laughter and hope.

Who in your life needs a standing ovation today?  Reach out and touch their lives.  Say thank you.  Tell them how much they mean to you.

 

Harley King

Many people in our society are afraid of growing old.  The slogan when I was a teenager was "Don't trust anyone over thirty."  Researchers project that almost 300 billion dollars will be spent world wide in 2015 on anti-aging products and surgical procedures to remain young.  Over a third of that will be spent by Americans.  

People often fear the loss of their youth.  The physical changes to our bodies and our minds can be very challenging.  One of my favorite quotes is: "Age is not for sissies."  The elderly face memory challenges and chronic pain.  Even creative leaders worry about losing their creative abilities as they age. 

Yet age can bring something that is rarely found in youth — wisdom and peace.  If we have paid attention to the lessons that life has bestowed, we will have earned a measure of wisdom and peace.  Yet, some fail to learn these lessons and are doomed to repeating the same mistakes.

Are you unhappy with your life?  Disappointed with the path your life has taken?  Do you have regrets and keep living in the past?  My brother-in-law was like that.  He was never happy with what life had tossed his way.  He was always looking for the next opportunity, the next pot of gold.  He died just short of his 51st birthday still seeking success.  He failed to see what he had in front of him — people who loved him.  

From time to time we all need to pause and reflect on what the challenges we have faced have to teach us.  What did I learn this week or this month that will make me a better person?  Why do I keep making the same mistakes?  How can I better serve the people I love?  What am I thankful for?

Part of the wisdom of age is learning to accept our lives and to appreciate the gifts we have been given.  We need to find peace with our desires and to accept what we can not change.

Here are five actions that you can take immediately to help you find peace in your life and to develop the the wisdom of age.

1. Create a gratitude journal.  Every day write down something that you are thankful for.  My six-year-old daughter and I do this verbally every night at bedtime.
2. Find ways to say thank you to the people who have made a difference in your life.  This could include family, friends, teachers, and colleagues.
3. Remember people's birthdays.  I once met a woman who every year sends birthday cards to the more than 1500 people she knows.  For most of us, our birthdays are a special day.
4. Volunteer to help someone in need.  The opportunities are endless.  Service to others in their time of need is a privilege.
5. Write down the stories of your life.  Our lives are best understood through the stories we tell ourselves and others.

May the wrinkles of time 

create wisdom and peace 

within your soul.

 

Miguel de Cervantes

"He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses courage loses all."

—Miguel de Cervantes

Spanish Novelist, Poet

1547 - 1616

Much of life is about loss.  From the day we are born we lose things.  Some children are abandoned at birth.  Others experience death at an early age.  Some people lose fortunes.  Others lose friends.  And some people lose themselves.  I lost a sister last Thanksgiving.  My wife lost a brother last week.  And I am sure that most people reading this have lost someone.  I have lost five jobs in my career, but I have never lost who I am.  Do you know who you are?  Are you where you are supposed to be?  What have you lost? 

The flip side of Cervantes' quote is that we all gain something.  Has a new child been born into your life?  Has some unexpected money come your way?  Have you gained a new friend?  A new lover?

Life is about lost and gain, give and take, birth and death.  Sometimes we feel as if we have lost more than we gained, but usually we have a lot to be thankful for.  Do you have an attitude of gratitude? 

Harper Lee

"Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read.  One does not love breathing."

— Harper Lee

American Novelist

1926 -

Often we take things we do for granted and it is not until we lose them that we realize how important they were.  We do this with people and relationships.  We take them for granted until one day they are no longer in our lives.  Our ability to see is another thing we take for granted until we almost lose it.  I recently underwent cataract surgery and for the first time I came face to face with not being able to see.  

Do you take your ability to write for granted?  Harper Lee wrote and published the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, which was a commercial and critical success.  While she has since published a few essays, she never published another novel or any work of non-fiction.  And only she knows why she never finished another novel.  One could ask whether she lost her ability or desire to write.   

Do you take your ability to write for granted?  Do you take your ability to paint for granted?  How about your ability to sing?  Or act?  Or speak?  Don't take anything for granted.  Appreciate what you have.

Here are writers talking about the leading character of To Kill a Mockingbird.

David Steindl-Rast

"Impatience makes us get ahead of ourselves, reaching out for something in the future and not really being content with where we are, here and now."

— David Steindl-Rast

Austrian Writer / Catholic Monk

1926 - 

Many creative leaders don't live in the here and now.  They are always looking forward to tomorrow when they sell their first book or have their first gallery showing or have enough money to create their works of art full time.  They spend most of their time in the future and ignore the beauty around them.  They are not grateful for what they have and the people in their lives.  They want to be where they are not.  Then one day they wake up and life has past them by and they have grown old and there is no tomorrow where they can dwell.  

Are you living in the world of tomorrow?  Or are you living in the now?  Are you grateful for what you have and what you have been given?  Or are you seeking new opportunities, living in a time beyond time where only dreams exist?

I am not saying that one should not have goals or dreams.  Both are necessary for living.  We just shouldn't spend all our time there.  We need to appreciate where we are now and what we can learn from this moment in our lives.  We need to enjoy the people in our lives and appreciate their friendship and love.  Don't let your impatience for success keep you from enjoying the moment.

Take a few minutes to watch this video and listen to the words of David Steindl-Rast.

Alfred North Whitehead

"No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others.  The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude."

— Alfred North Whitehead

English Mathematician/Philosopher

1861 - 1947

Who have been your mentors?  Who have helped you along the way?  I believe we must from time to time stop and acknowledge those who have assisted on our journey through life.  Most people start with their parents and move on to their teachers.  My parents gave me a start by paying for my college education.  I was the first in either my mother's or father's family to graduate from college.  So I have much to be thankful for.  And my teachers have been numerous, whether in the classroom or in books or in day-to-day living.  And don't forget your children and grandchildren.  They teach us parents so much.  They help us to return to the passion of our youth.  How about the person who hired you into your current job.  They saw something in you that others did not.  I could list hundreds of people who have touched my life from beggars whom I gave a handout to the Presidents of companies.  And don't forget your neighbors.  The person who mowed your yard when you were sick.  The minister who married you.  The banker who loaned you money.  We have so much to be thankful for.  Yet, how easily we forget and feel we have nothing.  It is time to develop an attitude of gratitude.  Give thanks today.

Joye Moon

"Every day is a gift — a new beginning . . . bound out of bed with the enthusiasm of a child."

— Joye Moon

American Painter

How do you begin your day?  With a cup of coffee?  A cold beer?  With steak and eggs?  Or a doughnut?  Do you drag yourself out of bed wishing you could spend the day sleeping?  Are you wide awake and full of energy?  Some people get up in the morning and say:  "Good morning, Lord.  It is great to be alive!"  Other people get up and say: "O Lord, it's morning again."  Which are you?  Someone who appreciates each day she has been given?  Or someone who finds no joy in living?  How you begin your day can have a positive or negative impact on your creative work. 

Do you begin your day with meditation?  Or prayer?  Do you take a walk?  Or lift weights? Do you eat a healthy breakfast or do you skip the most important meal of the day?  Be thankful for every day you wake up.  The alternative to waking up is being six feet under.  Celebrate the day and give thanks for all you have been given.

Marcel Proust

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

— Marcel Proust

French Novelist

1871 - 1922

In this holiday season when families come together in fellowship, friends share toasts of happiness, and lovers make vows of eternal love, we should be grateful and give thanks for all we have been given.  If you don't have someone this holiday season, I encourage you to reach out.  Don't hide in the attic, or the basement or the closet.  Make new friends.  Choose new directions.  How you spend this season of joy is your choice.  Celebrate what you have been given.

Tecumseh

"When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength.  Give thanks for your food and the joy of living.  If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself."

— Tecumseh

Shawnee Chief

(1768 - 1813)

This week someone in one of my audiences expressed concern about all the negativity we hear  in our society.  She was concerned about the future.  And it is easy to see why she feels that way.  We live in a time when many of our leaders gravitate towards the negative.  Turn on any news channel and all you hear are negative stories and even worse — negative opinions.  Much of what passes for news today is actually opinion.  Read any newspaper and your heart fills with dread.  It takes a lot to remain positive and thankful in this negative world.  And yet thankful we must be for we are still alive.  Thankful we must be for we woke to see the sun again.  So give thanks every day this week that you have been given another day to write a poem, paint a picture or write a story.  No one knows if he will wake up tomorrow morning.  Be thankful that you can see another sunrise.

Jim Henson

"My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here."

— Jim Henson

American Puppeteer

1936 - 1990

Everyone should desire to leave the world better than they found it.  For me that is why we are here.  We are here to help others in their time of need.  How are you leaving the world better than you found it?  Did you plant a tree?  Give someone a ride?  Write a story that made someone cry?  Paint a picture that touched someone's heart?  We will all reach the end of the road some day.  What is your legacy?  How will you leave the world a better place?  What gifts have you given back?  Did you make someone smile today?  Did you give someone a hug?  Did you listen to someone who needed to get something off her chest?  Did you say thank you to your parents, your mentors and your friends?

Thomas Carlyle

"A strong mind always hopes, and has always cause to hope."

— Thomas Carlyle

Scottish Writer

1795 - 1881

Hope is a crucial ingredient to leading the creative life.  Without hope we have no reason for living.  There is little meaning to life.  Hope is the breath of life.  Breathe deeply and you will live a much happier life.  In these troubled economic times it is easy to become discouraged.  Read some history and you will learn that this too shall pass.  Nothing stays the same; everything will change.  In the 1970's with the emergence of a united OPEC, gas prices soared higher than they are today if you take inflation into account.  We lived through a period of years of high inflation with interest rates running in the teens.  Today you can get a mortgage interest rate of under 4%.  This too shall pass.   Have hope.  Believe in your future and the world's future.  Read the history of the Great Depression and/or the novel, The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck and be grateful that you are living in these times.  Cultivate an attitude of hope.

Seneca

"Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart."

— Seneca

Roman Writer/Speaker

54 BC - 39 AD

Gratitude is not a new attitude.  It was not invented by the pilgrims at Plymouth Rock nor by the legions of motivational speakers who ride circuit and preach from the pulpit of love.  Gratitude has probably been with us from the beginning of man's time on this earth — from the moment someone offered to share her drumstick or her fur or her fire.  

Gratitude is not a one day act of thanksgiving, but a way of life.  Do you have an attitude of gratitude?  Do you wake up with a smile on your face and love in your heart?  Or are you like most of us who need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  Try this  exercise: every day write down ten things that you are grateful for.  Slowly, you will develop an attitude of gratitude and learn to stay focused on what is important.

Charles Dickens

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts." 

— Charles Dickens

English Novelist
1812 - 1870

It is easy in today's world to be a cynic.  No matter where you look you can find something wrong and someone to blame.  And creative leaders often see the disconnect between the ideal and reality a lot quicker than most.  It is easy to fall into a sarcastic, negative view of the world.  Every day we hear about corrupt politicians, false religious leaders, greedy business executives and rude arrogant sports figures.  

It takes a strong person not to have a hard heart — to keep the love flowing.  As creative leaders we need to keep our hearts open and giving.  We need an attitude of gratitude.  So cultivate the love in your heart.  Give thanks daily for what you have been given.

Creative leaders often are more sensitive than other people.  It is easy to have our feelings hurt.  We cannot let the negative attitudes and comments of others bring us down.  We must hold fast to what is best in the human race.  We must hold ourselves to high standards.

Henri Matisse

"Every day that dawns is a gift to me and I take it that way.  I accept it gratefully without looking beyond it . . . . I think only of the joy of seeing the sun rise once more and of being able to work a little bit, even under difficult conditions."

— Henri Matisse

French Artist

1869 - 1954

Each day we live is a gift that we often forget to be thankful for.  We become so busy with the hundreds of tasks that we have to do that we lose sight of the fact that life is a blessing.  Matisse wrote these words after a second operation from which he did not expect to wake.  Even though he was physically in pain, he found joy in being able to paint.  Each day is a gift.  Are you living it to the fullest?  Are you grateful for the life you have?  Does your creative work bring you joy?

La Musique

M. Scott Peck

"The quickest way to change your attitude toward pain is to accept the fact that everything that happens to us has been designed for our spiritual growth."

— M. Scott Peck

American Author

1936 - 2005

I think that we can learn valuable lessons from everything that happens to us.  I believe that one of the reasons we are on this earth is to learn and grow as human beings.  Sometimes we do better than others.  And sometimes we fail to learn our lessons again and again.

In 2006 I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had robotic surgery.  I believed then and still believe today that it was an experience that taught me several things — from humility to gratefulness.  

And while this maybe difficult for some to accept, I think the rejection we experience as creative leaders is meant to teach us valuable lessons.  So the next time you face some challenge in your life, ask yourself what lessons you can learn from this experience.  What gift are you being given?

Here is a poem I wrote in response to my diagnosis of cancer and my surgery.

Surgery

God is in the backyard

playing with the squirrels

and rabbits.  I am barbecuing

steaks for dinner and

the wife is preparing the salad.

Tomorrow I am having surgery

and God has come by to

wish me well.  He says I

should not worry because

He will be there holding

my hand.  I smile and

ask if He wants to take

my place on the operating

table.  He ignores my

request and goes on

chatting about how much

better I will feel when

the cancer has been ripped

from my body.  I flip

the steaks over one more time.

Wilfred Grenfell

"The service we render for others is really the rent we pay for our room on this earth."

— Wilfred Grenfell

English Medical Missionary

1865 - 1940

It is a privilege and honor to be an artist.  We have an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of people.  Creative leaders provide tremendous value to societies and the people who make up those societies.  We entertain, inspire, inform and teach.  We give hope when hope is needed.  

Have you ever read a book that changed your life?  Thank the author with all your heart for the hours he spent writing and rewriting that book.  Have you ever read a novel that made you cry?  Thank the author.  Have you ever listened to a piece of music again and again because it calmed you down?  Thank the composer and the musicians.  Have you ever stood before a statue with your mouth wide open in awe?  Thank the sculptor.  Have you ever sat for hours in a museum studying a painting of a master?  Thank the painter for sharing his talent.

Be thankful for the privilege of serving others — of helping to ease their pain.  For giving them a few moments of laughter, joy and encouragement.  For helping them bear the loneliness of living.  For saving them from their thoughts of suicide.  Creative leaders are seldom aware of the impact and influence they have on people's lives.  If they did, they would be thankful every day for the gift they have been given.

Katsushika Hokusai

Self-Portrait

"I have been in love with painting ever since I became conscious of it at the age of six.  I drew some pictures I thought fairly good when I was fifty, but really nothing I did before the age of seventy was of any value at all.  At seventy-three I have at last caught every aspect of nature — birds, fish, animals, insects, trees, grasses, all.  When I am eighty I shall have developed still further, and I will really master the secrets of art at ninety.  When I reach a hundred my work will be truly sublime, and my final goal will be attained around the age of one hundred and ten, when every line and dot I draw will be imbued with life.

— Katsushika Hokusai

Japanese Artist

1760 - 1849

Humility — a trait many creative leaders do not possess, yet a behavior we all should cultivate.  In fact, the lack of humility has caused the down fall of many creative leaders.  They start believing what their admirers say and acting in accordance with what is said.  In the words of my childhood:  they grow too big for their britches.  They begin to believe their own press.

Learn to cultivate the trait of humility.  None of us are perfect.  We all make mistakes — both in our personal lives and our artistic creations.  It takes a lifetime to become a master and even then we may not achieve that designation.  Be thankful for what you have been given and seek to be humble.

Great Wave of Kanagawa

Sometimes we become so caught up in the day to day activities of living that we forget how short life is. We are here today and gone tomorrow.  In the eons of time, we live for only a second.  That fact alone should make us humble.  And if you look at our place in the universe, we shrink even more.  Practice humility.