Heather Graham

"You need to meet people constantly because that is where you get your ideas and everything that you are going to write.  I find people intriguing.  I love people and I love to hear their stories and to find out where they came from and where they are going."

— Heather Graham

American Novelist

1953 -

Writers are often viewed as loners and they do have to spend a lot of time alone writing, but writers also need human contact.  Many times the people writers come in contact with find their way into novels and stories.  Great writers are observant of the people they meet and use the details of these lives to add authenticity to their work.  

Meet Heather Graham, author of over 150 novels.  She has more than 75 million books in print in 25 languages.

Taylor Swift

"People haven't always been there for me but music always has."

— Taylor Swift

American Musician

1989 -

I would wager that most people reading this quote would agree with the first half.  Rarely do we receive unconditional love from people, even our parents.  Usually there are strings attached.  And sometimes huge ropes.  If we don't live up to people's expectations, they reject us or kick us out.  For some of us all we have is our art.  Even in the most difficult of times, we have our music, our art, our writing, our acting.


This message was driven home to me a number of years ago when my wife and I interviewed over 100 people who were grieving over the death of a pet.  Often these people spoke of the unconditional love they received from their pet.  They would say even when they were having a bad day, the pet would be there for them.  This is not something they received from the people in their lives.  We published our interviews in our book, It's Okay To Cry, that can be found on Amazon.


I think the challenge we all face is to love the people in our lives unconditionally not matter how they treat us.  Love your children unconditionally.  Love your significant other unconditionally.  Love your parents unconditionally.  And most of all, love yourself unconditionally.


Here is Taylor Swift singing Fearless.  Enjoy.

(Quote Source:  Goodreads.com)

William James

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

— William James

American Philosopher and Writer

1842 - 1910

When was the last time you received a compliment?  Today?  Last week?  Last month?  When was the last time you gave someone a compliment?

We all have a need to appreciated and thanked for what we do.  Unfortunately, our society is very poor at delivering compliments and praise.  And people praise artists and writers even less.  If you want to receive more compliments, you must give more compliments.  We live in a very negative world where people feel it is kool to be in your face putting you down.  If we are going to change the world, we must first change ourselves.


I know that many writer groups are very negative and hostile.  They seem to enjoy tearing each others work to shreds.  And that does nothing but discourage the new writer.  Writers need a lot of support, encouragement and nourishing.  I don't believe in criticism -- negative or positive.  Most writers and artists are their own worst critics.  They can tell you all the things that they did wrong before you do.

I challenge you to look for the good in others and compliment them on what they do good.  Compliment the good you see in their writing or their art.  Be sincere and honest.  Don't lie.  Even in the worst of painting you should be able to find something to compliment honestly.  So start today.  Don't wait.  It will cost nothing, but the positive rewards will be great.

Pablo Picasso

"There is nothing more interesting than people.  One paints and one draws to learn to see people, to see oneself."

— Pablo Picasso

Spanish Artist

1881 - 1973

La Vie
(1903)

For me, people are central to being a creative leader.  The stories that writers share are about people and their relationships.  When I speak on leadership, I talk about leadership being defined as people working with and through people.  I love paintings and photographs that involve people.  People communicate so much meaning through their expressions and gestures.  I find people fascinating because in them I see bits and pieces of myself.  Through interactions with others I learn more about myself.  People teach me important lessons that I need to learn.

If I were the only human remaining on this planet, life would be boring.  When I was young, I thought I would like to be a hermit and withdraw from the world, but I no longer feel that way.  I do need people.  Having said that, I must confess that I am still an introvert.  What that means is that many people take energy from me and I must have alone time to restore my energy.  Extroverts by nature enjoy people and are re-energized by being with people.  After spending two hours in a mall, I am exhausted and must withdraw to replace my energy and recharge my spirit.  One of the few places where I can be re-energized by people is when I am speaking in front of an audience.  Some audiences will take the energy that I give out when I speak and return it to me ten-fold.  Other audiences will absorb my energy and suck me dry.

Who are the people in your life?  Do they help restore your energy or do they drain your energy?  What about the people in your stories, your paintings and your songs?  Are your relationships positive and life-giving?  Or are your relationships toxic and destructive?  What are the people in your life teaching you?  Even the most difficult people in our lives are there to teach us lessons.  What are you learning about yourself?  And what are you teaching the people in your life?

William James

"Be not afraid of life.  Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."

— William James

American Writer/Philosopher

1842 - 1910

Every person is unique.  There has never been a person just like you and there will never be a person just like you.  The life you lead is yours.  Nobody can lead the same life and do the same things, so that makes you special.  

Do not judge yourself by how much money you make or how much power you have or the creative work you produce.  Your success lies in the lives of the people you have touched.  And if that is only one person, then you are a success.  All of us in some way will touch the lives of our parents and our siblings.  So from the moment we are conceived, each of us is successful.

Isaac Bashevis Singer

"Two important things are to have a genuine interest in people and to be kind to them.  Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life."

— Isaac Bashevis Singer

Polish Novelist

1902 - 1991

Are you curious about people?  Are you interested in their stories?  Novelists and storytellers need to have a strong interest in people.  To tell a great story, a novelist has to understand people and their motives.  I think the same is true of a portrait artist?  In order to paint someone, an artist needs to see inside the person.  An artist is painting more than the surface.  An artist must paint the heart and soul of a person.  So again, my question:  Do you seek people out and listen to their stories?

The second part of this statement is even more important — being kind to others.  The world is in need of a lot of kindness today.  Kindness must start one person at a time.  I must first be kind before I can expect others to be kind.  Am I kind to those around me?  To family, friends and strangers on the street?  How should I demonstrate my kindness?  How do I show my caring?  Can you be kind without loving the person?  What is the demonstrable difference between love, caring and kindness?  Or are they cut from the same cloth?