Harley King

Humor does not come easy for me.  I rarely find the jokes that people tell as funny.  I often don't find standup comedians to be very funny either.  As a child, I was very serious.  My wife, on the other hand, has always been a comedian.  Growing up, she would have her family in stitches with her ability to make people laugh.  She has taught me through our more than forty years of marriage that laughter is one of the most powerful instruments of healing that we have at our disposal.  These days I look for ways to bring humor into my life.

Whether I am one on one with a person or in a small group of people, I do not tell jokes.  As a professional speaker for over 25 years, I did not tell jokes.  Yet, there have been moments in my workshops that we laughed so hard that we had tears in our eyes.  For me, some of the best humor is what I call spontaneous humor.  It is humor that is unplanned and rises out of a comment that one of the participants makes.  What I have learned over the years is to play off the comments of others.  I have learned to use spontaneous humor to create laughter in the class.

I also think some of the best humor in my personal life is spontaneous humor.  We can be sitting around the kitchen table and someone says something that makes us giggle and soon we are laughing so hard that my belly is shaking like a bowl of jello and I can barely catch my breath.  I usually don't remember what triggered the laughter, but it feels good and it has shaken up my insides.

Five Ways to Add Laughter To Your Life

1. Don't take yourself so seriously.  Learn to laugh at your mistakes.
2. Find a friend or spouse who makes you laugh.
3. Watch and listen to humorous speakers and comedians whom you find funny.
4. Read books that make you laugh.
5. Look for the absurd situations in your life.

Jeanne Robertson

One of the funniest speakers I have ever heard is Jeanne Robertson.  Jeanne grew up in Graham, NC and represented the state as Miss North Carolina.  She was voted Miss Congeniality in the Miss America Pageant. After college, she coached basketball for nine years before becoming a professional speaker.  She stands 6'2" in her stocking feet.  For years she told funny stories about the beauty pageant.  Today she tells funny stories about growing old.  Here is a video of her sharing one of her stories, Don't Bungee Jump Naked.

Julia Cameron

"Art opens the closets, airs out the cellars and attics.  It brings healing."

— Julia B. Cameron

American Writer, Artist, Filmmaker

1948 -

Commentary

Some would say that our hearts and souls become clogged with the emotions of living.  We suffer real and imagined hurts at the hands of others.  Overtime this pain begins to clog up our metaphoric arteries, blocking our hearts and souls.  We become unhappy and disenfranchised.  We are discouraged and depressed.

One avenue to salvation is involvement in the arts — writing, painting and singing, etc.  Writing opens the attics of our minds and allows us to clean out the cobwebs, chase away the mice and restore sanity.  Painting airs out the musty smells in the basements of our hearts, removes the boxes of ancient memories and fills us with hope.  Music soothes the soul and heals the heart.

Has your involvement in the arts helped you to heal the heart and cleanse the soul?  Has creativity brought you happiness and salvation?  Are you on the road to healing the hurt of yesteryear? Are you a better person today because of your creative work?

Sometimes we fight who we are, struggling against ourselves and our natures. But we must learn to accept who we are and appreciate who we become. We must love ourselves for what and who we are, and believe in our talents.

Creative Practice

In her book, The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron teaches the powerful tool of morning pages.  She suggests that people spend time every day writing anything that comes to mind.  One is not writing for publication, but to practice writing — to aid in the healing process.  This week spend 30 minutes each morning writing whatever enters your mind.  Don't pause, stop or reflect.   Just write.  Keep the pen on the paper and write.  (The key is to write longhand, not with a computer.) This begins the cleansing process.  And if you have not read her book, now would be a good time to do so.

Biography

Julia Cameron was born in Illinois and raised in a suburb of Chicago.  She attended both Georgetown University and Fordham.  She began her career at the Washington Post and later the Rolling Stone.  She met and married Martin Scorsese in 1975 and divorced in 1977.  

Cameron is best known for her book, The Artist's Way, in which she explores creativity as a spiritual path and helps people to unlock their creativity.  She has written 30 books  including the novel, The Dark Room, and is an award-winning poet, playwright and filmmaker.  You can find out more information about her and her work at:

http://juliacameronlive.com

Video

Here is a video of Julia Cameron talking about the spiritual path to creativity.

Max de Pree

"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity.  We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing and inclusion."

— Max de Pree

American Author/Businessman 

1924 - 

How we relate and interact with others is important to our success.  We need to treat others with the same respect and courtesy that we wish to be treated.  If we give others the space to grow, we will grow.  If we allow others to be themselves, then we can be ourselves.    it is only with others that we find ideas, dignity and healing.  How we interact with others impacts how others interact with us.  What we give is what we get back.  How are your relationships today?  Healthy?  Growing?  Inclusive?  Joyful?

Louise Bourgeois

"It is a great privilege to be able to work with, and I suppose work off, my feelings through sculpture."

— Louise Bourgeois

French Artist

1911 - 2010

 

I want to take this one step farther.  I believe that it is a privilege to be an artist.  What we do as writers, storytellers, painters, actors, sculptors and musicians is very special.  Most people are not willing to risk themselves or make themselves vulnerable as artists must if they are to be successful.  We must open ourselves up and reveal our innermost feelings if we are going to touch others with our creative work.  That does not mean that we have the answers.  In fact, many creative people live difficult painful lives and often emotionally harm the people they love.  If we are lucky, our creative work will heal our wounded spirits.  But if we don't heal our wounds, people will be confused by the multiple personalities within one body.  They will not understand how a mean-spirited drunk could write such lovely prose or paint such a beautiful picture.  For some of us, our creative work heals us and we are stronger for it.  For others, the creative work destroys them.  They give up their lives for their art.





Maman



Charles Dickens

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts." 

— Charles Dickens

English Novelist
1812 - 1870

It is easy in today's world to be a cynic.  No matter where you look you can find something wrong and someone to blame.  And creative leaders often see the disconnect between the ideal and reality a lot quicker than most.  It is easy to fall into a sarcastic, negative view of the world.  Every day we hear about corrupt politicians, false religious leaders, greedy business executives and rude arrogant sports figures.  

It takes a strong person not to have a hard heart — to keep the love flowing.  As creative leaders we need to keep our hearts open and giving.  We need an attitude of gratitude.  So cultivate the love in your heart.  Give thanks daily for what you have been given.

Creative leaders often are more sensitive than other people.  It is easy to have our feelings hurt.  We cannot let the negative attitudes and comments of others bring us down.  We must hold fast to what is best in the human race.  We must hold ourselves to high standards.

M. Scott Peck

"The quickest way to change your attitude toward pain is to accept the fact that everything that happens to us has been designed for our spiritual growth."

— M. Scott Peck

American Author

1936 - 2005

I think that we can learn valuable lessons from everything that happens to us.  I believe that one of the reasons we are on this earth is to learn and grow as human beings.  Sometimes we do better than others.  And sometimes we fail to learn our lessons again and again.

In 2006 I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had robotic surgery.  I believed then and still believe today that it was an experience that taught me several things — from humility to gratefulness.  

And while this maybe difficult for some to accept, I think the rejection we experience as creative leaders is meant to teach us valuable lessons.  So the next time you face some challenge in your life, ask yourself what lessons you can learn from this experience.  What gift are you being given?

Here is a poem I wrote in response to my diagnosis of cancer and my surgery.

Surgery

God is in the backyard

playing with the squirrels

and rabbits.  I am barbecuing

steaks for dinner and

the wife is preparing the salad.

Tomorrow I am having surgery

and God has come by to

wish me well.  He says I

should not worry because

He will be there holding

my hand.  I smile and

ask if He wants to take

my place on the operating

table.  He ignores my

request and goes on

chatting about how much

better I will feel when

the cancer has been ripped

from my body.  I flip

the steaks over one more time.

Harley King

"Service to others in their time of need is a privilege and an honor."

— Harley King

American Speaker and Poet

1949 -

As creative leaders, we inspire, encourage and give people hope with our paintings, sculptures, poetry, stories and music.  Our creative works touch the hearts and souls of millions of people with passion and power.  Reading novels have helped people through difficult times in their lives.  Listening to music has brought encouragement to unhappy souls.  It is a privilege to help others in their time of need.  

Have you been inspired by a poem or a novel you have read?  Have you found peace and comfort in a song?  Has a painting opened up new worlds for you to experience?  Just as we as creative leaders have been inspired by other artists and writers so our audiences are inspired by us.  Yes, we often feel we are creating for ourselves, but in the end our legacy is to be found in the people to whom we have given hope to through our creative expression.

Here is a short video of a speech I gave in May at an awards banquet to over 1000 health care professionals about the privilege of service to others in their time of need.

Graham Greene

"Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation."

— Graham Greene

British Novelist

1904 - 1991

Have you ever thought of your writing or your painting as a form of therapy, as a way to help you through the challenges you face in life with at least a part of your sanity?  This goes to the heart of who do we create for?  Ourselves or others?  I think the answer for the most part is ourselves.  If we write what others want us to write or paint what others want us to paint, I think we hurt ourselves more than help ourselves.  We all have demons in our lives that we must work through.  For some it is their childhood.  For others it is the death of someone they loved dearly.  For others it is the spiritual doubts they have.  Creating works of art helps us cope with the pain that is at the heart of our lives.  It helps us face the fears that try to force us into hiding.  It helps us to keep the madness at bay for a little while.

Carl Rogers

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

— Carl Rogers

American Author / Psychologist

1902 - 1987

Have you ever had a desire to change who you are?  Have you ever dreamed of waking up and being somebody different?  That is one of the fun things about being a novelist or an actor.  Novelists and short story writers can become the characters inside the stories they tell.  I once wrote a short story, Bath Day, in which I inserted my real self as a minor, minor character seen through the eyes of the main character.  Actors take on the character of others.  They play heroes and villains.  They experience death, love, sorrow and laughter in the skin of imaginary characters.

Most of us have struggled with our self-identity.  We may not like our physical looks or the bill-paying work that we do.  We may think that we are poor husbands, wives or parents.  And yet, if we learn to accept who we are and what we have done, then we can begin to change into who we want to be.

Have you ever tried to change your habits?  Stop smoking?  Lose weight?  Start exercising?  Learn another language?  Leave the toilet seat down?  Some people say it takes 21 days to form a new habit.  Personal change is never easy.  We need to learn to be more forgiving of ourselves and those with whom we share our lives.  None of us are perfect.  And if change is difficult for us, don't you think it is just as difficult for those you love.  Learn to be gentle with yourself and those you love.

Alfred Stieglitz

"All art, like all love, is rooted in heartache."

— Alfred Stieglitz

American Photographer

1864 - 1946

Photograph of
Georgia O'Keeffe

Pain, suffering and loneliness draw out the artist in each of us.  When we are suffering, we have a need to share our hurt with others.  Some of the world's greatest works of art and literature have grown out of the pain the artists and writers felt as children.  What pain drives your need to express your feelings?  Or maybe, like me, you don't know.  I had a good childhood with loving parents.  There is no moment or experience in my life that caused me to want to write.  I just have a need to express myself.  I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons I have not written world-famous poetry is I have not suffered enough.  

Do you know why you have a need to write stories or poetry?  Do you know why you are driven to find those few minutes or hours a day to paint and draw?  Why do you need to share part of yourself with the world?

I believe our art is a way of healing the hurt we have felt.  Writing, painting, and playing music help us to subconsciously work through the pain we have experienced in our lives.  Our art gives us hope.

Leo Buscaglia

"Nine times out of ten, when you extend your arms to someone, they will step in, because basically they need precisely what you need."

— Leo Buscaglia

American Author/Motivational Speaker

1924 - 1998

For the last twenty plus years, I have been teaching people the healing power of touching and hugging.  While I have encountered people who don't like to hug, I have found a deep desire on the part of most people for the healing that a strong hug will bring.  Here in the United States, hugging is not encouraged except in some churches.  Hugging is avoided in the world of business and education.  Some people view it as sexual harassment.  One of few places where people still are allowed to hug is at funerals.  We instinctively know that words are not enough.  What we want to say can only be said with a hug.

As writers and artists, we often work in isolation and yet we have this desire and need for human touch.  We should surround ourselves with supportive friends with whom we can cry  and who will give us a hug when we need it the most.  Healthy friendships are a necessary part of the creative process.

There is a true story that circulates on the internet of two baby twins who were born premature.  The hospital personnel put the babies in separate incubators per their policy and procedures.  One baby was healthy and thriving.  The other grew weaker.  A nurse decided to put the babies in the same incubator and a surprising thing happened.  The stronger baby put her arm around the weaker one and the weaker baby grew stronger and healthier.

As creative leaders, we need to take care of our own emotional and mental heath so we have the strength to create more works of art.  Be sure to give your friends and family a hug each and every day.

Milan Kundera

"Laughing deeply is living deeply."

— Milan Kundera

Czech Novelist/Poet

1929 -

Have you laughed today?  Have you had a deep belly laugh that shook your insides?  We all need some humor in our lives.  Laughter helps to heal the pain.  The life of an artist or writer can be difficult and challenging.  Laughter helps us to survive the barbs of criticism and the arrows of rejection.  Do you know what makes you laugh?  Do you know what makes others laugh.  Seek to put some laughter into your life.  Give the gift of laughter.

Zelda Fitzgerald

"Nobody has ever measured, even the poets, how much a heart can hold."

— Zelda Fitzgerald

American Novelist, Artist

1900 - 1948

The heart is stronger than we think and able to recover from some of the most painful sorrows.  People through the centuries have seen and heard some of the ugliest behavior of mankind from starvation to murder to genocide.  And writers and artists have produced great work out of this pain.  When I was in college in the midst of the Vietnam war and the civil rights movement, I thought the world would explode within five years.  More the forty years later the earth still circles the sun and men and women continue to suffer and survive.  How much can your heart hold?  How much pain have you suffered?  How much love have you given?  How much of your heart can you see in your work?

Mark Vonnegut

"Writing was a spiritual exercise for my father, the only thing he really believed in."

— Mark Vonnegut
American Writer

1947 -

Writing for me is a spiritual exercise.  I did not realize until I read an essay a year ago in which Mark Vonnegut talks about his father, Kurt, one of my favorite authors.  The quote opened for me the door into why I have spent 35 years writing without fame or fortune.  Since I rejected organized religion at age 18, writing became the spiritual road I walked.  Writing gave my soul the strength necessary to face the traumas of this world.  I was called to be a preacher but I could not preach until I first cleansed my soul and made it strong through writing.  The writing is what makes me whole, gives meaning to my life, and keeps me believing even when I feel there is nothing left to live for.  Here is a short poem I wrote a year ago today.

May your heart

be fluent

in the languages

spoken by God

that you

may understand

the healing power of His love.

Isak Dinesen

"All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them."

— Isak Dinesen
Danish Writer

1885 - 1962

In the last 20 years, the publishing world has sought to give us more and more memoirs —   people sharing their own stories of their sorrow and pain.  They have taken Dinesen's quote to heart.  And there is a lot of truth here.  We all tell our personal story — if not to others, at least to ourselves.  When my wife and I wrote our book on pet loss, we gave voice to the pain that these pet lovers felt.  We allowed them to tell their stories.  What is your story?  What sorrows darken your face?  Have you put it in words?  In pictures?  In music?  Healing comes with the sharing of our stories.

Rainer Maria Rilke

"This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess."

— Rainer Maria Rilke
Austrian Poet

1875 - 1926

The creative journey is about love.  We must be passionate about what we do.  If you don't love painting or writing or playing music, you won't do the work necessary to overcome the obstacles you face.  Painting a picture, writing a novel or composing music requires a lot of solitary time.  You have to love what you do and want to do it more than anything else in the world.  The more you give to your art, the more you will receive in return.

Helen Keller

"Your success and happiness lie in you.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invisible host against difficulties."

— Helen Keller

1880 - 1968

We are responsible for our own happiness and success.  Others are not responsible to make us happy.  Not our spouses.  Not our children.  Not our parents.  Life is full of challenges and difficulties.  Nothing is perfect.  If we blame others, we will never be happy.  We must learn to forgive and move on.  We must take charge of our inner world and resolve to be satisfied and happy.

Mort Walker

"Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart."

— Mort Walker

1923-

Sometimes the heart grows stale and tired with the routines of life and needs a good spring cleaning.  Laughter is a powerful cleanser that helps to heal the pain we feel and revive our hopes that have been buried under layers of dust.  A deep belly laugh is like a breath of spring air on a winter's day.  Find those special moments of laughter and enjoy them.