Ben Stein

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."

— Ben Stein

American Actor, Writer

1944 -

When I came out of college in 1971, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  I had some vague idea about wanting to be a writer, but I had no idea on how to go about it.  Remember this long before the personal computer let alone the internet.  I was typing my work on a Royal typewriter.  The only way to find jobs was through the newspaper and there were not many jobs for want-to-be writers in central Illinois, farm country.  It took me four years to find a job writing and then it was an accident.  I applied for for a job as a speech writer but I heard nothing.  I found out later they hired a novelist with one published novel under his belt.  He spent most of this time while employed working on his second novel.  Three months after I applied, I received a call from a nursing home company about a job as a writer of policy and procedures manuals.  I interviewed and was hired.  I thought I would work for a year and move on to writing somewhere else.  Thirty-seven years later I still work in the nursing home industry and write in my spare time.  Sometimes when we don't know where we want to go, life will decide for us.  And often the decision is the correct one.  

If you know what it is you want to do with your life, that is great.  If you don't know, don't worry.  The river of life will take you where you need to go.  And if you haven't written down your goals, check out my article on this page about goals.  I was thirty-five before I learned the importance of goal-setting.  If you set goals, you will accomplish a lot more.

Maxwell Maltz

"Remember you will not always win.  Some days, the most resourceful individual will taste defeat.  But there is, in this case, always tomorrow — after you have done your best to achieve success today."

— Maxwell Maltz

American Author

1899 - 1975

One of the most valuable things I learned from playing sports as a kid is that you don't win them all.  There will be days you go home dejected because your team lost.  And you learn to bounce back and keep going.  One loss does not make a loser.  Professional baseball teams play 162 games a year and there is yet to be a team that loses every game.  Even the worst of teams win some games.  And the worst record goes to the Cleveland Spiders who in 1899 won 20 games and lost 134.  Sports has taught me to hold my head high because there is always tomorrow or next year.

As writers, not everyone of our novels, or stories or poems are going to be a bestseller or even get published.  As artists, not every painting will sell.  Sometimes the work we love will be a flop in the marketplace.  That does not mean we should give up.  We need to pick ourselves up, dust off our pants and take another swing.   The next at bat may be a home run.

Harley King

Photo by Johari King

"Study your fears for they have much to teach you.  Some fears protect us from danger.  Other fears predict the future.  Some fears are false and worrying about them keeps us from enjoying life.  Other fears are worthless and should be discarded."

— Harley King

American Poet / Speaker

1949 -

Have you examined your fears?  They have much to teach you?  Are you afraid of riding on elevators?  Do you know why?  Are you afraid of driving a car?  Do you know why?  It is important that you understand where your fears came from.  Understanding your fears will help you over come them.

I read a story recently about a man who in the middle of a violent storm went out of his house to move his car because he was afraid a tree would fall on it.  While he was sitting in the car, the tree fell on the car and killed him.  Sometimes our fears predict the future.  I learned this early in my marriage.  My wife is very good at sensing danger in the future.  Where we lived we had to drive 25 miles to a movie theater.  About ten miles into the drive, she sensed something was wrong so we turned around and went home.  Now I can never prove that something would have happened, but in my heart I know we made the right decision.

One of those fears that we should discard is the fear of rejection.  Many artists, writers and actors face rejection and it can hurt emotionally.  And sometimes our fear of rejection keeps us from sharing our work with the world.  Rejection by others can not harm us unless we let it.  You know your work better than anyone.  Don't let people's prejudices and ignorance stand in your way.

Napoleon Hill

"The starting point of all achievement is desire.  Keep this constantly in mind.  Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat."

— Napoleon Hill

American Author

1883 - 1970

The difference between the winners and losers is in the amount of desire they have.  Do you have the desire to do what it takes to become successful or do you give up too quickly?  Many people have dreams, hopes and even goals, but few have an abundance of desire.  For only if you have desire are you willing to make the sacrifices needed to be successful.

Octavia E. Butler

"You don't start out writing good stuff.  You start out writing crap and thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it.  That's why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence."

— Octavia E. Butler

American Novelist

1947 - 2006

Practicing any of the arts takes patience and persistence.  Nothing happens overnight.  Many people quit too soon.  They become frustrated because what they produce does not match what is in their imagination.  And this quitting begins early in life.  Today I saw a four-year old girl who was working on a painting of the ocean became frustrated because the painting did not match what was in her mind.  She burst into tears.  Has this happened to you?  Do you become so frustrated that you quit?  Do you give up on your work?

Here is a video about Octavia Butler.

Walt Disney

"All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them."

— Walt Disney

American Film Director, Producer

1901 - 1966

Why do you think that everyone is given dreams?  Why do you think some people never achieve their dreams?  Are unachieved dreams some form of punishment?  Does God want us to fail?  Are we meant to fail?  Are we given dreams we cannot achieve so we can suffer? Are we to blame because we failed?

Maybe it is time to examine your dreams and understand from where they came.  Maybe it is time to pursue your dreams — to believe in the gifts that you have been given.  Maybe it is time to follow your dreams no matter where they may lead you.  And remember your dreams may lead you to places you never dreamed about.

Abraham Lincoln

"I do the very best I know how — the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing it until the end."

— Abraham Lincoln

American President

1809 - 1865

All we can hope to do is our very best.  We can do no more.  We will not be able to please everyone so we need to please ourselves.   Don't compare yourself to others.  They are not you.  You are unique.  There is not another person on this planet with the exact same talents and skills.  You are not in competition with others.  You are only in competition with yourself.  Do the very best that you can do and keep on doing it even when others don't appreciate it.

Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear."

— Mark Twain

American Writer 

1835 - 1910

Fear is important to our safety and longevity.  We need fear in order to be aware of danger.  Yet, fear can also be destructive if we are afraid of the wrong things.  Fear can both protect us and cause us harm.  The challenge is to distinguish between the two possible results.  If we are in danger, fear will help protect us.  But if we are not in danger, yet are afraid, the fear causes harm to the soul and the spirit.

As writers and artists, we should not be afraid to create.  This fear is harmful to the soul.  Resist this kind of fear.  Learn to master the fear.  Don't let the fear overwhelm you.

George S. Patton

"If a man has done his best, what else is there?"

 

— George S. Patton

American General

1885 - 1945

If you have done your best, then pat yourself on the back and celebrate.   We are never going to be perfect.  We need to give it our best shot and stop worrying.  We are sometimes too harsh on ourselves and we must learn to accept who we are and what we have done. 

Now if we have not done our best, that is a different story.  We need to always push ourselves to do our best.  No loafing or pretending.  But once we have done our best, then we need to learn to let go.

Miguel de Cervantes

"He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses courage loses all."

—Miguel de Cervantes

Spanish Novelist, Poet

1547 - 1616

Much of life is about loss.  From the day we are born we lose things.  Some children are abandoned at birth.  Others experience death at an early age.  Some people lose fortunes.  Others lose friends.  And some people lose themselves.  I lost a sister last Thanksgiving.  My wife lost a brother last week.  And I am sure that most people reading this have lost someone.  I have lost five jobs in my career, but I have never lost who I am.  Do you know who you are?  Are you where you are supposed to be?  What have you lost? 

The flip side of Cervantes' quote is that we all gain something.  Has a new child been born into your life?  Has some unexpected money come your way?  Have you gained a new friend?  A new lover?

Life is about lost and gain, give and take, birth and death.  Sometimes we feel as if we have lost more than we gained, but usually we have a lot to be thankful for.  Do you have an attitude of gratitude? 

Franklin D. Roosevelt

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."

— Franklin D. Roosevelt

32nd President of the United States

1882 - 1945

We all have doubts and those doubts often hinder our success.  Have your doubts stopped you from doing what you want to do?  I have often second guessed myself.  When I buy something, I always question why I did what I did.  I recently traded in our car for a new one and of course as soon as I did it, I began to doubt the decision I made.  What doubts are preventing you from becoming the person you want to be?

Confidence is the key to success.  Even when you don't feel confident, you need to act confident.  You need to walk tall and proud.  Don't let your doubts hold you back.  Act confident today.

Charles Kettering

"The only time you can't afford to fail is the last time you try."

— Charles Kettering

American Inventor

1876 - 1958

Many people give up too soon.  When something knocks you down, you need to pick yourself up and keep going.  Being knocked down is not failure.  Staying down is failure.  Don't give up.  Keep rising again and again.  

What projects have you given upon?  Have you been knocked down lately and want to quit?  It it time to give yourself a pep talk and pick yourself up.

Tommy Lasorda

"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination."

— Tommy Lasorda

American Baseball Player/Manager

1927 - 

Do you have the determination to do the impossible?  We are have hopes and dreams, but many give up at the first sign of resistance.  I had a dream of writing a historical novel after I graduated from college.  In course of conducting interviews, I was chastised by man and woman who told me I had no business writing the story.  I gave up and quit.  I did not have the determination to keep going despite the resistance I met.  Are you meeting resistance to your ideas.  Don't let the opinions of others stand in the way of your dreams.  

George Eliot

Portrait by
Frederick William Burton
1864

"The finest language is mostly made up of simple, unimposing words."

— George Eliot

English Novelist

1819 - 1880

Think simple.  Think unadorned.  Think powerful.  Sometimes we believe it's the fancy words, the longest speeches, the wildest colors that win the day.   But the truth is the simple words carry more emotion and have a greater impact.

Georgia O'Keeffe

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way — things I had no words for."

— Georgia O'Keeffe

American Painter

1887 - 1986

Sometimes words are not enough.  Words can be vague and without meaning.  Words can be phony and fake.  Words can hurt and destroy.  Words can confuse.  Have words ever failed you?  Have words ever failed to communicate what you were feeling?  Have words left you cold and alone?  Don't worship words.  They are only a tool to help us convey the thoughts of our hearts.

Paul Simon

"A song I was writing is left undone.  I don't know why I spend my time writing songs I can't believe."

— Paul Simon

American Musician

1941 -

As I write this I am listening to the songs of Simon and Garfunkel, one of my favorite groups.  Like many people, I was disappointed when they broke up.  I loved their songs which defined the world for me when I was a teenager.  I loved the lyrics.  I stopped following either musician after they broke up.  I probably should have followed Simon since he was the creative genius behind the group.  The above lyrics come from Kathy's Song, which he wrote in 1965 while in England.

Do you have any creative work left unfinished?  A painting?  A poem?  A novel?  I do.  I have a novel I spent 4 years writing, but never finished.  I also have several short stories.  These days I tend to write my poems in one sitting with little or no rewriting.

Do you believe in what you create or do you like Simon in these lyrics doubt what you have created?  Have you lost faith in your creative skills?  

Here is Simon and Garfunkel singing Kathy's Song.  Enjoy.

Edith Wharton

"True originality consists not in a new manner but in a new vision."

— Edith Wharton

American Novelist

1862 - 1937

What is your vision for your art?  Your writing?  Do you even have a vision?  Or do you have no idea of what you want to achieve?  When I talk about vision, I am also talking about purpose.  What is your purpose for being on this earth?  What is the reason you exist?  Why are you here?  Are you going to leave this world a better place when you pass beyond the veil?

My vision for my life is very simple:  I choose to plant seeds of hope in the hearts of others.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we will not find it."

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

American Poet, Speaker, Writer

1803 - 1882

People often think they are unhappy and dissatisfied because of their external circumstances.  They dream of moving to the city of their dreams, finding the ideal job, or winning the lottery.  What they don't realize is that no amount of money will make them happy if they are not happy on the inside.  Living life is an inside job.  Happiness begins with self-acceptance and belief in oneself.  

James Salter

"I decided to write or perish.  It was like starting life from scratch."

— James Salter

American Novelist

1925 -

Watch this video about James Salter.  How committed are you to your art?  What are you willing to sacrifice?  What are you willing to do?  What are you going to create this week?

Socrates

"Our youth now love luxury.  They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."

— Socrates

Greek Philosopher

469 BC - 399 BC

I first discovered this quote on a large poster in 1968 when I was a college student.  At the time my generation was being criticized for being hippies and many said we would never amount to anything.  I learned a valuable lesson that day — every new generation is criticized by their elders and told they would never amount to anything.  And while some may die young, most grow-up and become the elders of the next generation.

The other lesson to take from this quote is to be careful about listening to critics — they often get it wrong.  Don't let the critics dominate your life and your art.  Avoid them where possible and ignore what they say if you can't.  Artists and writers have been destroyed by the critics in their lives.  Some never pick up a pen or paint brush again.  Listen to your inner voice, not the voices of your external critics.